TCCoA Forums banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Trumpeter Extraordinaire
Joined
·
2,916 Posts
In Today's News

Jerry Lewis is highly regarded by the French for his comedy. If I recall, he was given an honoray degree or some type of esteemed recognition.

I heard in the news that he wants no association with the French because of their not backing the US in this stuff....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
658 Posts
Thats a little disturbing.

danman
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,178 Posts
Saw a good joke yesterday
Where do you find 76 million french jokes?
France.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,717 Posts
The joke about the accordion is funny.
(Not taking the French to war is like leaving to go hunting without your accordion....or something like that)
Thanks to whomever posted that before. I've spread it around.
 

·
PostSkank
Joined
·
3,231 Posts
Re: In Today's News

IronChopz said:
Jerry Lewis is highly regarded by the French for his comedy. If I recall, he was given an honoray degree or some type of esteemed recognition.

I heard in the news that he wants no association with the French because of their not backing the US in this stuff....

well, if that doesnt get the message across to the french, then I dont know what will


Go Jerry!
 

·
Refrigerator Raider Hater
Joined
·
11,719 Posts
Jack K said:
"...I'm talking about a little place called Aspen."
" I don't know Lloyd, the French are assholes."
They thought it was in California. And in fact there is a place in Cali called Aspen Valley.
 

·
Don't call me a Newbie
Joined
·
397 Posts
I find expressing my contempt for Chirac rather difficult...would require using entirely too much "French". :zsoapbox:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
For Sale: French Military Rifles. Excellent condition, never fired, only dropped once.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
...I'll stop now, I could go on
for days...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
799 Posts
R TB 1 of 6

Dude! Where did you score this Bird? It's sweet. Where's the other 5? I want one.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
799 Posts
Some French humor

French Military History

- Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare : "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

- Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.

- Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

- War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War - Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

- The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

- World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

- War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

- War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France collapses?"


3 wins 14 losses 9 ties
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top