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motor city poster
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Discussion Starter #1
OK well ill just start off with telling a little background info...

well to start.... after being stabbed in the back by a bestfriend for my old girlfriend.. ive been looking around and i started to talk to one of my ex girlfriends.. well i really like her a lot as well as i used to. To make a long story short... I'm a little hesitant to go back to her cause of various reasons... none of them are major except for one thing... this girl is probably the nicest person ive met so far in my life... (remember im only 16).. shes a cool person and all but about a year ago she was rapped and now she kinda has suicidal issues because of that :( . and im having a tough time dealing with that? any advice on how to help her out/help me with dealing with that.?

Anything would be appreciated

Thanks greatly..

Patrick
 

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Only you can prevent modular fires
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1,446 Posts
Umm I dont want to touch this with a 10 foot pole, mainly 10-17 year olds are crazy/ too young to understand anyway.
 

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Boost Happy
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1,971 Posts
it sounds like you still want to be there with her , but i would say be there and help her if you think its worth it or just move on never go back to your X's thats something i do i dont go back to what i have had before there was a reason why its a past and leave it at that .:thumbsup: for haveing the Ba** to post about it i dont think many would post their issues on here


Jurgen
 

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Sweet T
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3,452 Posts
Stay. Away. From. Ex. Girlfriends.



Better yet.. don't tie yourself down in Highschool. They may mature a bit faster than guys, but chicks are /still/ a pain in the *** and relatively unable/willing to cope with life until later in their 20's. It's High SChool for chrissake. Girlfriends are overrated anyway.
 

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Only you can prevent modular fires
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Amen
 

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Geek w/Gearhead Complex
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SanDiegoLXBird said:
chicks are /still/ a pain in the *** and relatively unable/willing to cope with life until later in their 20's.
mid 20s I might add.
 

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Premium Member
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I don't usually chime in on these kind of issues, but here's my two cents on this one;

Since you are both still too young to be involved in a serious relationship, you should support her as a friend, and leave it at that.

Until she has resolved her suicidal tendencies, and has mentally healed from her rape ordeal, it would not be wise to begin dating her again.

I am in the camp of, "once an X, always an X". There's plenty of others out there to meet.
 

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ZackG said:
yeah, i advise to not get attached to any girl while your in high school. girls at that age are indecisive.
I hate to break it to you, but girls of all ages are indecisive!

Seriously, I was in a situation similar in college (rape victim) and it did not last. Be her friend. She'll need some freindship for a while.

And if you do end up dating, whatever you do, DON'T be pushy about sex! You're to young for that anyway!

Doug
 

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5w30 Guzzler
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DougMenke said:
I hate to break it to you, but girls of all ages are indecisive!
shoot man. from birth to 40, women get better at making a decision and sticking with it*. after slopes right back down to "i want this. no. i want this. oh wait a minute. yeah that's fine. nevermind. ok that's my final decision. well..."

*note that their abilities still severly lack that of similarly aged males.
 

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I always say that if she is an "ex" it's for a reason. The only reason you are thinking about her now is because she is there and in need of emotional support (as are you since you just broke up with your last girlfriend). Don't jump into a relationship for those reasons, especially with a girl with those emotional problems. You should just be there for her, but you should (this may be harsh) probably just stay away all together if she is that bad off and you have some feelings for her. I know my advice may sound a little harsh, but I think it is probably the best way to go. I'm also in school to be a high school counselor, but I'm not all the way there yet. So take my advice with a grain of salt...

Preston, been in the same boat...
 

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Anything But Typical
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With what she's going through, she needs a friend, not a boyfriend. It's very difficult to deal with the strange things that rape victims do, and they get scared very easily, even about the smallest things. She needs serious counseling, and possibly medication. Make SURE she gets it. If she's scared, go with her. The sooner she gets it the better. There's no need for yet another victim to walk around in fear and shame.

You have to remember why she's an "ex". Something didn't work the same time, and it probably won't work the second time around Doesn't mean she can't be a great friend, and more power to you if you can keep an ex as a friend.

Take your time. Don't get tied down too early. Enjoy your high school years as much as you possibly can.

Good luck!

--Molly
 

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Sweet T
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Yeah. Do yourself a favor and don't get back into a relationship with a girl because you're lonely. I'm in that situation right now and wish to god that I had just dealt with being lonely. I wasn't around to give myself this great information a few months ago so I had to learn it the hard way. DON'T DO IT.
 

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uggg.... everybody here knows that in highschool relationships wont last. If you go out wit her and actually do get a chance to do the dirty and then it doesn't last.... hate to say this but shes gonna b REALLY unstable and about 10 times more likely to commit suicide. If you go out wit her stay the hell away from sex.
 

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Formerly known as lfteyechicken
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865 Posts
call loveline, and let adam and drew tell ya what to do as far as proper places for her to go to get counceling. she is gonna have severe ramifications from this incident, and if you do care about this girl, then DO NOT go back out with her, atleast not now, because if something happens and ya'll break up, she is gonna be that more likely to commit suicide. Chances are that she is lashing out, as she probably wouldn't really kill herself. most people with suicidal tendencies don't really want to die, they are just lashing out for help. Trust me, life ain't easy man...besides your only 16, good lord man, don't settle down, explore a little bit, date a lot, and make sure you cover your shmeckle if u decide to do some shmeckling.
 

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I think if you do date her again, she's gonna want someone that's almost gay. Someone that is only there for emotional attatchment, and not physically. I'd do something with her in groups. If you're just gonna be friends and do have her around guys that you think she might think about going out with instead of you, make sure they're nice guys that treat women with respect.

Basically, your relationship with her should be more based on non sex-related and more fun stuff. Like, going to church youth group stuff, where she can look to other people for support. IMHO.
 
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