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Here we go..

So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.

Until.. A "friend" of hers, lets call him Rick, begins to be hanging out with her more and more. Rick has a better car than John (me obviously), better looking, bigger, and makes more money (much more). I guess he's the total package.

For those that are curious about the vehicle, its a Black S-10 with air ride that has won at car shows. I hear something about air ride once every conversation now.

Why should I be caring, you ask? Because we dated for 2 years, had a long hiatus, got back together and now this. I can't get her out of my life, I have tried and just cannot do it. It really sucks, I thought I have grown up from this crap. I am 20 years old now and still feel like I am 17 again.

Thanks for listening.
 

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You know, I suppose I could tell you to, "GO AFTER HER". Me thinks that is the wrong thing at this juncture. As I see it, she is either doing one of two things. Either she is moving on with her life or she is trying to make you jealous. You are right it does not help that your insecurities are getting the best of you. If you don't like the fact that she is seeing other "friends". Maybe you should bite the bullet take a shower and go out on the hunt for your self. If She is tring to make you crazy, she looks like she might be doing so. That means, she is playing games. Games are for stadiums, highschool popularity and sunday night after dinner with the family. For a guy with a inteligent, non controling outlook on this whole situation you are showing the right feelings. Just don't let her cover your eyes to what is really out there. Shure he might be all the things you say, but if she wants that so be it. Go find some girl that is tasty, thinner,smarter with bigger....Eyes and one who dosen't play games. For the most part we as men are just as smart as women let us think we are. So please don't go heads up with her.

Later Eric

P.S. I hope that I made some kind of point!!
 

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That really sucks. I would feel threatened also. The other guy is definetly trying to steal her from you. But if she is in the same boat as you (financially, schoolwise, etc) then she shouldn't care about dating someone who is "doing better" because you should both be sucessful at the same time (when you graduate). He doesn't sound like he's doing that much better than you unless he's driving a Jaguar or something to that effect. Is he a full time student like you? Is he smart, educated, going somewhere promising in life? Because that's what's important. I know it doesn't mean anything right now (trust me, I have been in this situation more times than I can imagine). I don't want to make you any more worried than you are now, but she's probably going to leave you for him. I say that because that is the mere nature of young girls (20ish). They are easily impressed by the "things" that guys like him have, rather than the person that they already have. It has happened to me and I have seen it happen to almost all of my friends. That's why I only date older girls (like mid 20's). The only advice which isn't much that I can offer is don't chase /pressure her. That will only give her more reason to stay away. Women hate it when you seem desperate. She might just have an enlightenment of maturity and come back to you afterall. Good luck.
 

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mercoug302 said:
That really sucks. I would feel threatened also. The other guy is definetly trying to steal her from you. But if she is in the same boat as you (financially, schoolwise, etc) then she shouldn't care about dating someone who is "doing better" because you should both be sucessful at the same time (when you graduate). He doesn't sound like he's doing that much better than you unless he's driving a Jaguar or something to that effect. Is he a full time student like you? Is he smart, educated, going somewhere promising in life? Because that's what's important. I know it doesn't mean anything right now (trust me, I have been in this situation more times than I can imagine). I don't want to make you any more worried than you are now, but she's probably going to leave you for him. I say that because that is the mere nature of young girls (20ish). They are easily impressed by the "things" that guys like him have, rather than the person that they already have. It has happened to me and I have seen it happen to almost all of my friends. That's why I only date older girls (like mid 20's). The only advice which isn't much that I can offer is don't chase /pressure her. That will only give her more reason to stay away. Women hate it when you seem desperate. She might just have an enlightenment of maturity and come back to you afterall. Good luck.
maybe youre there for her too much and he isnt, girls want what they cant or shounldt have.
 

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1997T-Bird said:
So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.
DUMP HER!! ANY girl that says she needs times means that she either wants to cheat on you and not get in trouble for it or explore cuz she THINKS she can do better even though she probably cant. she wants to be able to be with other guys and see if she likes them or not, which sucks cuz that makes you plan B. any girl that doesnt make you her priority isnt worth it TRUST me. we are almost the same ago and i can understand how you feel for her but in the long run its just gonna hurt you more. seeing other people means she wants you as a backup if she doesnt have plans with the other guys. do you want to share your girlfriend with other guys? cuz you already are man if you think about it. i knew my girlfriend was the right one cuz she chose me and didnt look at any other guys or relationships. she would kill for me and i would kill for her. now when a girl says she wants some "time" that means you guys are heading downhill and you guys are "trying" to make things better but trust me all your doing is just snowballing down that same hill. the snowball keeps getting bigger and bigger and trust me you will be the guy that gets hit with that snowball at the bottom of the hill. she will be out of its path with that "other" guy.

just talkin from experience. no girl is worth that pain. my ex wanted to have some time and i KNEW from that time she wanted to date my friend also. she ended up dating him and me and i allowed it. her excuse was that she wanted to make us both happy. i say screw that! thats why they call it a couple, 2 people, not you sharing your girlfriend which you are buy giving her time with that other guy. if you ask her a question on this subject it shouldnt be "i dunno" or i need time. for me and my girlfriend it wasnt simple but we both knew what we wanted.

its your time to deal your cards on the table. if she doesnt want to lay her cards down, shes bluffing or she isnt worth it man. i wouldnt want a woman that isnt definate about us. either yes or no. ez as that!

*cough cough*...hummm ok enough of that :)
 

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ITHURTZ said:
beat him up. Young love doesnt last anyway. Atleast youll have something to be proud of in the end
this coming from the one who started a thread about finding a girl...
 

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No, no, no! Get angry and stay the hell away from her. Yeah, its probably true she will more than likely start going out with this "other" guy. Forget it. There are plenty of women out there. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, keep it. If not, hunt it down and KILL it. If you stay away long enough, no matter how bad it hurts YOU, then eventually she will wondering what is going on and start to come back for that attention she ain't gittin from you any more.
 

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Sweet T
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1997T-Bird said:
Here we go..

So my g/f breaks up with me because she needs more "time" to think it through, I didn't want to pressure her so I said how about we just say we are dating, and take it slow. She says okay and everything is fine.

Until.. A "friend" of hers, lets call him Rick, begins to be hanging out with her more and more. Rick has a better car than John (me obviously), better looking, bigger, and makes more money (much more). I guess he's the total package.

For those that are curious about the vehicle, its a Black S-10 with air ride that has won at car shows. I hear something about air ride once every conversation now.

Why should I be caring, you ask? Because we dated for 2 years, had a long hiatus, got back together and now this. I can't get her out of my life, I have tried and just cannot do it. It really sucks, I thought I have grown up from this crap. I am 20 years old now and still feel like I am 17 again.

Thanks for listening.

After reading your post and comparing it to my own experiences I have this to say to you: Women are capricious, fickle creatures that have no idea what they want until they can't have it anymore.

Now... as far as Rick is concerned. Don't worry about him. Chances are, he's a passing phase for this girl. And if he's not. THen that's something you'll have to deal with when the time comes. Cars, money, and looks aren't things that you want your mate to idolize. If that's all there is to her then, I hate to say it, you've wasted your time. Walk away from the situation. That is honestly the best thing you could possibly do. It hurts like a son-of-a-*****. Trust me. I've been there. But you will thank yourself for doing it down the road. Leave the situation alone. Let her make her mistakes and if YOU decide to be there when she realizes she has made a mistake, then that's up to you. Empower yourself and well.. the rest is easy.
 

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SanDiegoLXBird said:
Cars, money, and looks aren't things that you want your mate to idolize. If that's all there is to her then, I hate to say it, you've wasted your time.
Bingo! I was waiting for someone to say that.
 

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First off, an S-10 is no way in hell a better vehicle that an MN12. Second, you should do the same thing she's doing. Go out, have fun and try to find someone else to hook up with. Do NOT waste your time, cry in your beer, bit&h and moan, and begin to hate life. No girl is worth that. Yeah I will tell you right now, it's gonna really suck for a week or so. Eventually, that time will past by and either A) She'll come back to you or B) You'll begin to realize your better off anyway. If she comes back to you, don't get all excited, etc, just relax. If she in anyway sees that your upset, she'll feel great. Yes it's true, girls feed on a guy who is depressed over them; they love it. I Hope I helped.

Do not go attack this new guy she's hanging with. Leave them too alone but if he comes to you and says something smart, acts like a wise @$$, act like one right back at him. If he trys to force contact on you, lay his @$$ out all over the f'n ground. It would be in self defense and you wouldn't get locked up. (and as ITHURTZ said, you would build your confidence but ONLY strike if he strikes first)
 

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Discussion Starter #15
I'm not hating the guy because he is just bein a dude, I'm not that stupid.

I really appreciate the posts guys, you really cleared **** up.

Thanks,

John :)
 

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Take my advice? Why not its good advice. you got a problem with it oh well. Im not the one sittin on my buttocks and wondering why girls dont yell at me or why I cant get dates. Or wonder why my gf leaves me for another man.

ANd hurt yourself from lifting? How
 

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SanDiegoLXBird said:
Or hurt yourself. Besides.. do you really want to take advice from this guy? :D
I know I don't:p. but for once he's right.
I gotta get mad at the gym (slipknot, papa roach, or anything loud and heavy is what I listen to when I'm working out) to get a REALLY good workout.

But ya....women......I've always been a very paranoid person so I have trouble telling if people (mostly women) are lying to me or mean what they say or whatever.
 
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