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Discussion Starter #1
this guy I work with drives a POS 1995 automatic Dodge Neon and he has almost no mods because he is broke 24/7 (can't blame him, so am I and I live at home!) Anyway, he keeps telling me and others at work that he is building a 9.8 second dragster out of it! It's sooooo funny I have to try not to laugh whenever he talks to me about it because he is a walking H-bomb in terms of his temper! He seriously doesn't understand the money and knowledge it would take to make ANY car do this... and a FWD car? He thinks it's going to be easy, a walk in the park.

"oh yeah, I got a Turbo out of a Labaron sitting at home. I'm gonna buy some $600 intake and some headers and you know... that should get me into the 11's"

I swear to you man! He is such a newbie! He got a "fuel chip" and now says his car is overheating because it doesn't have a "cold air intake!" I almost **** myself there! It's bad enough he thinks a cold air intake is gonna make his car "much faster" (he told me this one awhile ago) but now he thinks it's gonna stop his car from overheating!! I think you might want to check the cooling system there buddy! To make things worse when I ask "fuel chip? Whats that? What do you mean by fuel chip? (I have never heard it called fuel chip before) Does it advance timing? Change shift points? Remove limitrers?" Well he's like "no, its a fuel chip... it makes your car use more gas to get more power." God, you don't even know what it does?!?!?!!?!

The other month this guy comes in driving a Civic Si (despite the car I like this guy, he's nice and knows his ****) so we are talking about his NOS that he has just got and hasent used alot yet. He says he hasen't got it set up right yet and I reply by adding that I have heard about the timing (ignition wise) and tempature problems I have heard other people having and then Neon boy adds and I quote...

"yeah and if your car can't hadle the power body panels will fall off like in TFaTF."

okay I almost die here...

So this guy is a pure dolt and I assume this is how most "ricers" act/think. This guy is broke and dumb and thinks he is going to turn his daily driver Neon into a 9.8 second car??? Like in TFaTF it's easy? Stock body work, street tires, trunk full of subs... you know!

Oh and did I mention its an automatic? and that he actually knows he will need like 500hp but thinks the stock motor or tranny can handle this???

I'm thinking gezz... high 9's in a Neon? You will most likely need wheelie bars? (a concept so strange to him), a engine built up from inside out to handle/produce the power right? come on... pistons, crank not to mention new heads and almost every bolt on I can think of? A racing transmition also built to handle the power. Major body work to lighten the car and also allow for drag tires in front? not to mention the drag tires themselves (I think he plans on doing this on stock or slightly larger street rubber!) and I havent even touched suspension yet!! god... can someone guess the amount of money required to get a stock 1995 auto SOHC neon into the high 9's??? I can't even comprehend... and I'm a fregin rocket scientist compared to this guy when it comes to cars!

The sad thing is another co-worker also has an early gen auto neon! They are now buddies... rice-friends. I can just imagine the conversations these two have on the night shift while I'm home! It hurts just thinking about it!!

Well, thats it I guess. I find it all so fun...

Jake
 

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this one is front wheel drive
<img src=http://www.nhrasportcompact.com/2002/events/race02/photos/photo16.jpg>
 

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I know a guy that works with my girlfriend. When i go up to her work to to pick her up I sometimes run into him. You wont believe it but he also has a Neon. :D

Lets just run down through our past conversations:\

Tries to tell me that he can smoke SHO's, Cobras ect and alot of the type R's.
Bought a Volt gauge from Walmart, he can see the power improvements now.
Autometer sucks, APC gauges are where its at. And you guessed it, the green F&F ones.
Saw a Yenko right after TFTF, was gonna race it. Coincidence?
Uses every term imaginable from the F&F movies.
Wants to get a primer set of GFX and leave them that way. Why? Cause its cool.

The latest conversation is him telling me that the Ford 4.6 is the same as the 5.0. They just slapped the 4.6 sticker on the 5.0 because they needed to freshen up thier image. :rolleyes:

I feel bad for him. Where do these guys come up with this crap?
 

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Man what is it with these neon owners. I was talking to a guy in my auto tech class to day. I asked what type of car he has and he replies 96 neon 2 door. Im like ok cool. He asks me about my car and I tell him. He says, how long does it take to go 0-60. I say honestly i dont know, do u know how fast your does it. He replys with 4.9 seconds. My jaw drops, I ask what you got done to it. His answer, NOTHING but just wait its gonna be fast as hell. I start laughing in his face. And say so what this thing is going to have like a 1.8 or a 2 second 0-60 time?? And with the most dead serious look on his face, " Yep thats the plan". At this time I get up, hurting from all the laughing and just walk away.


Mike
 

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Discussion Starter #8
god a 96 neon probrobly has like a 0-60 in 9 seconds or so. God... I can't beleive these people. You should have said "look man my 0-60 aint even close to that low and I bet I could beat you in a race!"

man, how am I going to sleep tonight?

Jake
 

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Stupid fag at my school drives a FATF green neon (auto as well) riding on blacks. Yea... hes cool cause he took off his wheel covers. Fart can and primer hood. Thats all i can think of... i gues he spend most of his money on the neon green paint... o yea... except the hood i gues he just forgot to paint that. But he sidearms it (term my friends and i use for driving with ur left arm on the right of the Top dead center or right arm to the left.) and tries to race the kid that gives me aride home every day. He drives a 03 I4 grand am and beats him daily. Kid talks **** all day and his wrists are smaller than a pencil.
 

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My AutoTech class is /filled/ with Ricebois. The only guys I can stand to talk to is one that owns an FC Turbo, and another guy with an Accord. (He know's it's Slow.) There's a kid with a Gen3 Eclipse that thinks he's hot **** (even though I've smoked him twice) and another guy in a mid nightes 3 series that /swears/ he's all that. Bleh. Too many idiots.
 

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Yea its pretty sad how dumb these poeple are. I see a lot of ricers in the parking lot, but havent actually met the owners yet (thank god). Theres even one chick that has a PINK mustang, theres also a contour the same color, i wonder if they are both owned by the same chick... theres a lot of riced out trucks and escorts, and of course eclipse Type Rice editions :)

Greg
 

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so wait the autometer ultralites i have in my regal are junk?:confused: then i should be real fast then , because it show me my oil psi is better than stock:rolleyes: also i could have saved over a hundred dollars by going to walmart and buying a $5 gauge?:leftright , i dont know about this.................:uppoint: :uppoint: stupid a** ricers
 

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A friend of mine has a '97 NEON, auto. But he's cool about it. We had to redo the head gasket on it this summer, and as opposed to having the old head checked, he just bought a PnP one with titanium valves. While we were at it, he did a shorty header, UDPs, and a trans cooler, it already had the exhaust done, but I don't care for the 4 exhaust tips, and the obligitory cool air intake. The car is probably in the low 15's now, and he is planning on replacing the intake manifold next, and putting in a 3000 stall. Quick car, but he knows it isn't all that.
 

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I used to work at Paul Arpin Van Lines, and there's this hispanic (Dominican maybe?) warehouse worker who drives this red Civic and speaks lousy english.

This car has got to be the most god-awful thing I've ever seen. A HUGE snowplow in the front, red paint, yellow trim, a wing that must rise about 8 or 9 inches off the back, and those STUPID APC (SuperStreet) stickers all over it. He's also got the "Bare minimum interior" mod, a couple racing seats (no seat belts), a tiny steering wheel, and 4 or 5 aftermarket gauges which I don't think even work. You can see he's got a nitrous setup, but I don't think it's connected to the engine. It's got the 1.6L with a 5-speed, which appears to be bone stock with the exception of a couple cosmetic changes. The best part is getting to hear this thing run... it sounds remarkably like a lawnmower, and the idle is up and down up and down between maybe 500 and 1500 RPM.
He will swear up and down all day that this thing will smoke anything that takes it on.

Everybody is in the dark as to how he accomplished this. He's not 100% legal in the U.S., and he supposedly ditched his wife and daughter to come to this country and now he owes huge sums of money to them, and is now wanted by the government.

I could go on, but I should leave him with a little dignity.. He's not bad to work with though, and he is funny as hell.
 

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i saw a civic the other day here at school... it had a huge wing, primer gfx, huge exhaust tip.. but stock wheels and a loud as hell engine knock.. i stood there laughing for a good minute.. sucks for him, it looked like it was a mid to late 90s model, so it wasnt even that old. -greg
 

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Discussion Starter #19
my friend has a 03 SX2.0 sport, you know its not a Neon or anything. But it's sooooo funny because he ripps on it all the time! It's his winter/save gas money alternative to his worn and tired 95 lx 4.6. He's always calling the Neon a slow pyle! I swear in the 6 months of owning the "Neon" it's gone downhill in alot of noticable ways. These things really are disposable cars, or as I like to call them "headgasket blowing machine" as in if you want to break a HG you just have to put in into the "headgasket blowing machine" and in no time at all.... pop!

Jake
 

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i think headgaskets are a growing problem for chryslers... my parents chrysler minivan blew it headgaskets while i was on my way home from school last february.... oddly though, none went in the combustion chamber... just poured out the back and in the oil. its the 3.3 v6... i dunno. chryslers suck. -greg
 
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