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One And Only!
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If your not a native of Detroit:

1. First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It's Di-troit. NOT DEE-troit. If you pronounce it DEE-Troit then we will assume you are from Toledo and here for the country Music hoe-down.

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Detroit has its own version of traffic rules... Hold on and pray!

3. The morning rush hour is from 6:00am to 10:00am. The evening rush hour is from 3:00pm to 7:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning. Weekends are open game.

4. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. If you're first off the starting line when the light turns green, count to five before going. This will avoid getting in the way of cross-traffic who just ran their yellow light to keep from getting shot.

5. Schoenherr can ONLY be properly pronounced by a native of the Detroit metro area. That goes for Gratiot too.

6. Construction and renovation on I-94,I-96, I-75,I-275,I-375, The Lodge and The Southfield Freeways are a way of life. Just deal with it.

7. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect or they are out-of-towners"

8. All old men with white hair wearing a hat have total right-of-way.

9. The minimum acceptable speed on I-696 is 85 regardless of the posted speeds. Anything less is considered downright SISSY. Oh, and don't even think of allowing more than one car length between cars!

10. That attractive wrought iron on the windows and doors in Detroit is NOT ornamental. DO NOT get out of your car.

11. Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says "Keep honking, I'm reloading."

12. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone, people are not waving 'because they are so friendly in Detroit. I would suggest you duck.

13. I-275/I-696 is our daily version of NASCAR.

14. It's not M-10, it's "the Lodge".

15. That's not a lake, it's a pothole.

16. If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you better hope you have a map.

17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.
 

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Sounds like my drive to college/work. Except I have the bigger tires so I have the right of way, better move that Echo the hell over. Oh ya turn signals are a dealer option on most models. And metro route 90 has 4 different names depending what stretch you are on, try getting people to understand that.
 

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Wow you Detroiters are sissies bout' driving. I wish it was that easy dealing with the mix of old folks, tourists and stressed out locals trying to get around. :D

Oh and in Philly waiting 5 secs after the light turns green will get you honked at about a dozens times and possibly shot, maybe twice. Proper etiquette requires you honk at the immobile jackass in front of you approximately 0.5 seconds after the light turns green then begin cursing the fool. Going for the gun in the glovebox is optional. ;)
 

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PHATBRD said:
If your not a native of Detroit:

17. The left turn is simple. If you want to turn left, go a 1/4 of a mile past your turn, get to the left, then make a left, then make a right. NOW you have gone left.
17 is the best one!

I spent a lot of time working in Di-troit last year.

And to this list I'd like to add:

6a. Construction on 14

18. Eight Mile is Baseline.

19. Jimmy Hoffa was last seen alive in Melvindale. Piss a native Detroiter off and see what happens.

20. Drive South to go to Canada.
 

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Southpaw said:
Wow you Detroiters are sissies bout' driving. I wish it was that easy dealing with the mix of old folks, tourists and stressed out locals trying to get around. :D

Oh and in Philly waiting 5 secs after the light turns green will get you honked at about a dozens times and possibly shot, maybe twice. Proper etiquette requires you honk at the immobile jackass in front of you approximately 0.5 seconds after the light turns green then begin cursing the fool. Going for the gun in the glovebox is optional. ;)
You give them .5 of a second:confused: Damn, your generous. I get some ******* creeping up on me usually just as the other light is yellow.
 

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Southpaw said:
Wow you Detroiters are sissies bout' driving. I wish it was that easy dealing with the mix of old folks, tourists and stressed out locals trying to get around. :D

Oh and in Philly waiting 5 secs after the light turns green will get you honked at about a dozens times and possibly shot, maybe twice. Proper etiquette requires you honk at the immobile jackass in front of you approximately 0.5 seconds after the light turns green then begin cursing the fool. Going for the gun in the glovebox is optional. ;)
last douchebox who blitzed a rojo got chased by me.:eek:
 

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Those came out when the Super bowl was here!!!!
 

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Going threw Chicago is a nightmare 24-7-365, I’ll take any thing but Chicago any time any where. If any other places are like this then I'll take a taxi....
 

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Southpaw said:
Oh and in Philly waiting 5 secs after the light turns green will get you honked at about a dozens times and possibly shot, maybe twice. Proper etiquette requires you honk at the immobile jackass in front of you approximately 0.5 seconds after the light turns green then begin cursing the fool. Going for the gun in the glovebox is optional. ;)
lol... I was going to bring that up but you beat me to it.

The most PITA traffic has to be in NYC. I've never driven in the city proper, but simply being in its presence walking the sidewalks makes me nervous enough to want to run and hide. How they don't have ten crashes in each intersection every day is beyond me.
 

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Trunk Monkey said:
17 is the best one!

18. Eight Mile is Baseline.
If you call the streets by their *-Mile road names you don't live in Detroit you live around Detroit.
 

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yeah, sounds liek rush hour in northwest wichita. there a fu***n idiots around here.
 

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I call it 8 Mile. That is where I live, that and the Chrysler. I Used to play in traffic. LOL! 8 mile is also the road most people dread to cross, most doors get locked and windows rolled up.

Ever see Office space where white dude is rapping and then the black bum is looking for money, and he stops rapping and slithers down in his seat to lock the door, that happens on 8 mile in preparation on entering the city!
 
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