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Refrigerator Raider Hater
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Penguin car problems
A vacationing penguin is driving down the road on a hot summer day when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin, he decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big vanilla ice cream cone and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream and getting it all over himself, he goes back to the gas station, and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and replies, "It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
 

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ba dum bump. Don't quit you're day job.
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
GUN
 

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Refrigerator Raider Hater
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Discussion Starter #4
hmm...maybe i should change the title to "the bad joke thread" :rolleyes:
 

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Motorboatin' SOB, Headlight Cleaning Guru
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jokes

A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter goes to a counter in a department
store and asks, "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.
The man repeats himself: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s dep-p-p-partment?"
Again, the clerk doesn`t answer him.
The guy asks several more times: "W-w-w-where`s the m-m-m-men`s
dep-p-p-partment?" And the clerk just seems to ignore him.
Finally, the guy is angry and storms off. The customer who was waiting in line
behind the guy asks the clerk, "why wouldn`t you answer that guy's question?"
The clerk answers, "D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat
up?"
 

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bad joke thread sounds like a good idea.... anyways, my joke that i told was one my friend heard when he paid a bum in downtown detroit 50 cents for a joke.. -greg
 

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Carrying on the tradition ............

A guy walks into a bar with a toad on his shoulder.

Looking at the bartender the frog says, "Hey buddy, where can i get this wart removed?"


SORRY,
 

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How do you fit 3 Elephants into a VW Bug?




2 in the front..........one in the back seat


How do you tell if there is an elephant in your fridge???



There is elephant tracks in your butter


How do you tell if there is 2 elephants in your fridge???



There is elephant tracks in the butter and the door wont close




How do you tell if there is 3 elephants in your fridge???


There is elephant tracks in your butter, the door wont close, and there is a VW Bug in the drive way......



--Craig
 

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the herd of elephants coming through the jungle?

Hey there's a herd of elephants coming through the jungle.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the herd of elephants coming through the jungle with sunglasses on?

Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

Bad jokes indeed.
GUN
 

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one hot summer day, several ducks are walking along a heavily wooded path that leads to a pond. as they are walking, in a single file line, of course, the first duck comes to a low limb. in order to warn the ducks behind him, he yells, 'people, people!'

haw haw haw haw


one day, two cavemen are trying to move this huge boulder. they try everything they can think of in order to move it, but nothing seems to work. they ponder on what to do. one comes up with an idea to use a long limb to pry one edge of the boulder up, rolling it forward. they try this, but it doesn't work either. another man who is walking by, sees what they are trying to do, and tells them he has a great idea. he leaves, and comes back a few minutes later with another man named nate. nate goes to the boulder, lifts the whole thing up, and moves it.

and the moral of the story is: better nate than lever
:uppoint: :rofl:
 
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A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink and asks the bartender if he'd like to hear a good USC joke.
"Listen, buddy," he growled. "See those two big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Trojans football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at USC. That guy in the corner was USC's all-time champion weightlifter. And I lettered in three sports at USC. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"
"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
 

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more bad jokes...

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Wheres my tractor?

Did you hear about the new pirate movie.......

Its rated RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!(said in a piratey type voice)
 

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Koolbreeze
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Deus003 said:
How do you fit 3 Elephants into a VW Bug?




2 in the front..........one in the back seat


How do you tell if there is an elephant in your fridge???



There is elephant tracks in your butter


How do you tell if there is 2 elephants in your fridge???



There is elephant tracks in the butter and the door wont close




How do you tell if there is 3 elephants in your fridge???


There is elephant tracks in your butter, the door wont close, and there is a VW Bug in the drive way......

--Craig
:uppoint: :uppoint:

OK OK OK,
Naked blonde walks into a bar;
she's got a poodle under one arm and a 2ft salami under the other;
She walks up to the bar and sets the poodle down.
The bar tender comes over and says:
"So, I guess you won't be needing a drink huh?"
Naked Blonde says
 

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AndyR said:


OK OK OK,
Naked blonde walks into a bar;
she's got a poodle under one arm and a 2ft salami under the other;
She walks up to the bar and sets the poodle down.
The bar tender comes over and says:
"So, I guess you won't be needing a drink huh?"
Naked Blonde says

what does she say?!?!?!?!?
 

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Anything But Typical
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"Yo mama...

"...is so fat, clumsy, and big that when she was on her way to walmart, she stumbled over k-mart and landed right on target"
 

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naked blond

that joke is from The Breakfast Club.....the joke was never finished in the movie...:2huh:
 

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Koolbreeze
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Re: naked blond

mlbuxbaum said:
that joke is from The Breakfast Club.....the joke was never finished in the movie...:2huh:
:rolleyes:
you were supposed to let them suffer alittle longer :D
 

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Dead Baby Jokes

Whats better than 1 dead baby in a dumpster?





1 dead baby in ten dumpsters.
What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?







An Erection.
 

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Moderator, Red Sox Nation Rabid Fan, TCCoAAC Found
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Re: Dead Baby Jokes

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.
While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.

Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."



ive heard a lot of dead baby jokes too, but i just cant pull myself to post them...
 
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