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Re: yo moma

Solidace50 said:
yo moma is so nasty that i called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection!!!!:uppoint:
hahahaha, that one's new to me

Yo mama's so....

...old, she owe's Jesus food stamps
...old, she gives off powderd milk
...old, she farts dust
...slutty, she can suck-start a Harley
...slutty, she was on a Box of wheaties with her leg's spread saying "breakfast of Champs"
...slutty, when she wear's a skirt people complement her belt
...slutty, she can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball
...bald, I can see what's on her mind
...bald, she took a shower and got brain washed
...fat, that when she wears high-heels she strikes oil
...dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund
...dumb, she thought Taco-bell was a Mexican phone Company
...teeth are so yellow, she spits yoo-hoo
...missing so many teeth, it looks like her tounge's in jail

:D I'll post more when I can think of 'em
 

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The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem.

The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.

The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"
 

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Koolbreeze
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Yep

"Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC Cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy."

He can just use the RC Cola bottle when he's done with it:)


...mmmmmmmmmMoonPies.....
 

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SC_Steve said:


Hey, Shawn.... what's been up, man? Long time no see.... how's school?


School is great. Maine is nice, I just hate cold but I live in Roc NY anyway so oh well. I am back for the winter. I will be back in the summer and we deffinitly have to get a meet going sometime. There are quite a few people from Buffalo to Syracuse and even a little bit south.
Hope things are going good for you,
take care,
-Shawn
 

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The Elephant and the ant...

One time there was an elephant and an ant walkin through the jungle and the elephant fell into a pit. "help me help me" the elephat said.

So the quick thinking ant ran into town grabbed a corvette and drove back quickly as possible. Once back at the pit the elephant attached his trunk to the bumper and the elephant was pulled to freedom.

A little while later the ant fell in to a hole as well. The equally as quick thining elephant unfurled his penis into the hole and the ant climbed his way to freedom.

The moral of the story: If you have a large penis you don't need a corvette.

:D *SC Steve zips up flame suit* :uppoint:
 

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MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH(BREETHS) AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(BREATHS AGAIN)AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA VOUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH


I needed that............
 

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heheh

hehehe...

i still like robin william's idea... give ol' "Ted" a few boxes and a mailing list...
 

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A blonde sits down to do a puzzle. After several hours and not getting anywhere she calls her brother. She all distraught and tells him about her problem. She ask if he can come over and help. He ask what's the puzzle supposed to be. She replies that it is supposed to be a tiger. The brother is confused so he tells her he will be over shortly. He arrives and she leads him to the kitchen where the pieces are scattered over the table. The brother examines the pieces and tells his sister there is no way that he nor she can get the puzzle put together. He convinces her to go with him to get some coffee and calm her down. He said once you calm down and relax you can help me put the frosted flakes back in the box.
 

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sleepr said:
A blonde sits down to do a puzzle. After several hours and not getting anywhere she calls her brother. She all distraught and tells him about her problem. She ask if he can come over and help. He ask what's the puzzle supposed to be. She replies that it is supposed to be a tiger. The brother is confused so he tells her he will be over shortly. He arrives and she leads him to the kitchen where the pieces are scattered over the table. The brother examines the pieces and tells his sister there is no way that he nor she can get the puzzle put together. He convinces her to go with him to get some coffee and calm her down. He said once you calm down and relax you can help me put the frosted flakes back in the box.

Bwaaaahahahaha..... good one, man! :D
 

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Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?


He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.








What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his butt?


A dart.
 

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allright this ones alittle gross

Theres these three guys out in a jungle exploring, looking for lost civilizations. The three guys stumble across an angree tribe of painted up dudes with lip disks and the whole works, the tribe ties them up and gives them 2 choices.....death, or Mugumbo

The first guy says "i guess ill take mugumbo, i dont really want to die" so the tribe responds by saying "MUGUMBO! YEAAAA! and drags him behind theyre teepees and butt-rapes him, he comes back rubbin his butt and limping but says "well it was better than death"

The second guy says "well i dont really want mugumbo but, i gues ill take it, i have kids and stuff" once again the tribe yells a loud "YEA! MUGUMBO!!!!" and drags him out back and butt-rapes him. The guy comes back and complains that it sucks but its still better than dying.

The Third guy has his mind set, he says "NO WAY! im not getting molested by you freaks, i choose death!" and the tribe screams "DEATH BY MUGUMBO!"



as Dr. Evil would say "a-thankyou"
 

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alright, here goes:

Ok, so theres this bartender, and hes just chillin at his bar. In walks this pirate. I mean, hes got the eye patch, peg leg, hook, parrot, 3 point hat, 4 teeth, 3 day beard and a funk about him that shrivels plants.

Only thing is, hes got this steering wheel just hanging out the fly of his pants. Now, he looks like he doesnt take any crap, so the bartender just bites his lip and serves him.

Now, this pirate hangs around for awhile, and hes pretty drunk. Finally the bartender works up the balls to ask him. "Hey man, nothing personal, but whats the deal with the steering wheel? Doenst that bother you??"

The pirate looks up at him and replies..................






"Yarr... its driving me nutz!"

pay da man.... cha ching
 
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