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Discussion Starter #1
Got this in an email thought it was pretty funny..

deer santa:
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend,
BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
give you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa



Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you.
Santa



Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your
frigid, fat mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up
that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build
yourself a family with those?
Santa



Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Play station, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
What kind of boy wants a damn pony? I bet your gay I'll set you up
with a nice barbie instead.
Santa



Dear Santa ,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart in my face when
riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jack
Daniels.
Santa



Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making
toys?
Your friend,
Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made by little kids like you in China . Every year I
give them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in
Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I
unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail
waitresses while losing money at the craps table.
Santa




Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
like in the song?
Love,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm
skipping your house.
Santa



Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE
PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy


Timmy,
That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap
doesn't work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.
Santa



Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky


Mark,
First, stop calling yourself 'Marky', that's why you're getting your
ass kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
 

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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Play station, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a
drum kit, a pony.
Love,
Francis

Dear Francis,
What kind of boy wants a damn pony? I bet your gay I'll set you up
with a nice barbie instead.
Santa
So funny. i thought this one was the greatest!!!!
 

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Super Moderator
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9,188 Posts
The ironic thing is, with regards to his poor spelling/grammar comment at the top, the wrong "your/you're" is used. :facepalm:
 

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PostWhore, The AFDB is on a lil tight.
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Santa is an anagram for Satan both wear red suits in childrens' stories. I just wish Satan would write back...I did everything he asked :zdevil:
 

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I kinda like what he told Susan.

JD double please!


Oh, and Splattered? You're a mess! lol
 

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PostWhore, The AFDB is on a lil tight.
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I kinda like what he told Susan.

JD double please!


Oh, and Splattered? You're a mess! lol
Splatters are usually associated with messes or being messy. I thought it was a funny comment. I guess the world was never ready for my sense of humor. I like to laugh a lot.
 

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pendejo
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ROFL "What kind of boy wants a damn pony?"

I've been Christmas shopping this year.... Sure felt like Hell to me.
Maybe we are mispelling Santa?!?
 

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Discussion Starter #8
haha I'm glad you guys like that one I actually changed it from the original that said...

Dear Francis,
What kind of parents name there boy Francis? You might as well
be a girl, I'll just set you up with a nice doll instead.
Santa
 

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I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films
I KNEW IT!!!

Ron Jeremy is Santa Claus! This proves it!! A little hair dye...

:rofl:
 

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PostWhore, The AFDB is on a lil tight.
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I really hate it when the voices don't hold up their end of the bargain!

:headbang:
Funny Im headbanging right now to Die Krupps.

To The Hilt!!!!

Hellish shopping is all part of the Satan Clause :D

My turn table loves to play evil music maybe that was the voices I heard. You cant go wrong with classic Mercyful Fate either.

Here is my favorite christmas song once again for the holiday this year please turn it up and share the holiday spirit

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/TK9auBEWS1I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
 

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Nice, and fits the Christmas spirit so well these days. :D
 
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